Yesterday's fearsome wind almost removed the overhead electricity cable from the pylon over the road to our house. It came to rest on top of our hedge and it was a clear case of "get in touch with the emergency services pronto".
The message from on high was "wait for someone to come and don't let anyone walk or drive under it in case it comes crashing down on top of them".
Perfectly obvious and sensible advice you would think. But not to many of the car drivers entering the village.
Standing outside Crimper Heights, I waved down car after car. Some heeded the advice, others thanked me for mentioning it and then drove under as they were in a "bit of a rush".
A few clearly weren't keen on stopping for a stranger attempting to stop the traffic and tried to drive round me. When one woman screeched to a halt to abuse me because I was in her way, I called the police and asked them to sort it out.
They promptly closed the road. I'm not as popular as I once was.
Wednesday 31 March 2010
What Rubbish
Living in the country, it should come as no surprise that I like to see it looked after. But it seems plenty of car drivers have other ideas.
Now when I'm driving the Crimper roadster here and there, it would never cross my mind to get rid of any crisp bags, sweet wrappers, sandwich wrappers, plastic drinks bottles anywhere other than in the plastic carrier bag attached to the glove compartment door.
Others though think it's perfectly acceptable to open the window and lob things to the side of the road.
As you drive, you may not notice the result too much. However, if you walk as I did recently, you may be in for a surprise. On a mile walk along an A road between two villages, I counted 396 items of rubbish...on one side of the road.
Keep your rubbish in your car or lower your window? For many it's not a tough decision. I despair sometimes, I really do.
Now when I'm driving the Crimper roadster here and there, it would never cross my mind to get rid of any crisp bags, sweet wrappers, sandwich wrappers, plastic drinks bottles anywhere other than in the plastic carrier bag attached to the glove compartment door.
Others though think it's perfectly acceptable to open the window and lob things to the side of the road.
As you drive, you may not notice the result too much. However, if you walk as I did recently, you may be in for a surprise. On a mile walk along an A road between two villages, I counted 396 items of rubbish...on one side of the road.
Keep your rubbish in your car or lower your window? For many it's not a tough decision. I despair sometimes, I really do.
Tuesday 23 March 2010
Sport Relief
Having slimmed down to a point where the word "Lardyboy" no longer applies, I surprised myself and many sponsors by going from 0 to 3 miles in 30 minutes on Sport Relief Sunday.
To put the achievement in perspective I haven't done any serious exercise except walking and fielding at first slip since 1985.
But that is absolutely nothing compared to the totally barking Eddie Izzard who chalked up 43 marathons in the ludicrously tiny time of 51 days.
He raised over £1 million. Heroic is an understatement.
To put the achievement in perspective I haven't done any serious exercise except walking and fielding at first slip since 1985.
But that is absolutely nothing compared to the totally barking Eddie Izzard who chalked up 43 marathons in the ludicrously tiny time of 51 days.
He raised over £1 million. Heroic is an understatement.
Wednesday 17 March 2010
Skid Row
Most of us have a claim to fame. Mine is that I was responsible for one of Gary Moore's first ever concerts in England.
In 1970, I was in charge of booking a band for our school dance. As luck would have it, the son of the deputy head was a booker in London and this led to a phone call at home.
It was Clifford Davis who managed Fleetwood Mac. He told me he was bringing a band over from Ireland called Skid Row and wanted them to do a few warm up gigs. He said we only need pay £50.
On a thursday evening, the band went out on Radio One as part of the "In Concert" series. Two days later the Rochester Mathematical School watched Skid Row and a guitarist called Gary Moore who was younger than most of the sixth form who made up the audience.
He was rather good.
In 1970, I was in charge of booking a band for our school dance. As luck would have it, the son of the deputy head was a booker in London and this led to a phone call at home.
It was Clifford Davis who managed Fleetwood Mac. He told me he was bringing a band over from Ireland called Skid Row and wanted them to do a few warm up gigs. He said we only need pay £50.
On a thursday evening, the band went out on Radio One as part of the "In Concert" series. Two days later the Rochester Mathematical School watched Skid Row and a guitarist called Gary Moore who was younger than most of the sixth form who made up the audience.
He was rather good.
Tuesday 16 March 2010
The Royal Mail Delivers
The Royal Mail may deliver, but does it collect?
There's a sign on the main post box in the town centre that says the Royal Mail are always striving to offer the best possible service to their customers. A comforting thought.
However, it goes on to say that as a result, the last post will be changed from 18.30pm to 18.00pm.
Quite!
There's a sign on the main post box in the town centre that says the Royal Mail are always striving to offer the best possible service to their customers. A comforting thought.
However, it goes on to say that as a result, the last post will be changed from 18.30pm to 18.00pm.
Quite!
Monday 15 March 2010
Get Rich Quick
There's a gap in the market and I'll mention it here in case anyone wants to do it and get rich in the process.
Birthday cards for kids. That's it. Simple.
If you currently want to send a card, good luck. Kids like music, skateboards, graffiti...well loads of subjects.
But what you'll find at most card shops are Doctor Who and the Simpsons. Or cards that say Happy Birthday Son/Daughter...well that's brilliant if you're not the parent. Or Happy 13th/14th/15th/16th birthday. Like a kid wants to be reminded. They know how old they are!
So a new range of cards for kids needs designing and into the shops pronto. Please do it someone. Your first customer is waiting.
Birthday cards for kids. That's it. Simple.
If you currently want to send a card, good luck. Kids like music, skateboards, graffiti...well loads of subjects.
But what you'll find at most card shops are Doctor Who and the Simpsons. Or cards that say Happy Birthday Son/Daughter...well that's brilliant if you're not the parent. Or Happy 13th/14th/15th/16th birthday. Like a kid wants to be reminded. They know how old they are!
So a new range of cards for kids needs designing and into the shops pronto. Please do it someone. Your first customer is waiting.
Sunday 14 March 2010
Our Cat Supports Liverpool
Mabel lives 200 miles from Anfield and wears a red Liverpool Football Club cat collar. She's never ever shown a flicker of interest when the team she allegedly supports are on the tv.
And the reason she's wearing the collar in the first place is because Mrs. Crimper who was swayed by Kevin Keegan's short shorts in the dim distant past, has decked certain parts of the house out in red. This was viewed as a "must have" item.
If it was possible to buy a Gillinghgam cat collar, it's possible there might be a heated discussion on the subject.
Seriously though. Has the world gone raving bonkers? A cat collar in team colours!
And jut how many smartly turned out moggies are there roaming the streets of Liverpool? Probably quite a lot.
And the reason she's wearing the collar in the first place is because Mrs. Crimper who was swayed by Kevin Keegan's short shorts in the dim distant past, has decked certain parts of the house out in red. This was viewed as a "must have" item.
If it was possible to buy a Gillinghgam cat collar, it's possible there might be a heated discussion on the subject.
Seriously though. Has the world gone raving bonkers? A cat collar in team colours!
And jut how many smartly turned out moggies are there roaming the streets of Liverpool? Probably quite a lot.
Monday 8 March 2010
Live with Led Zeppelin
I've not mentioned this to many people but I appear on a Led Zeppelin CD.
The 2nd CD in the BBC Sessions compilation was recorded at the compact 200 seater Paris Theatre in London's Lower Regent Street for "In Concert" on 1st April 1971. I was in the audience to hear John Peel introduce the band before they launched into "Immigrant Song".
Not broadcast nor on the CD 3 minutes and 20 seconds later was the audience reaction which could at best be described as a light ripple of applause.
Decidedly unhappy with this response, Robert Plant asked us what our problem was. In fact, he may well have put it more forcefully than that. The answer shouted back was that the music was so loud that we couldn't actually hear it as a song.
The engineers then toned it down and a jolly good time was had by all. But in terms of loudness, this first number was without doubt painful. Never heard anything as loud in my life and don't want to ever again.
Of course, once recorded and edited, the broadcast sounded perfect. Today it is all the more enjoyable because there I am, close witness to a cracking concert.
How good was it? At the time I often used the phrase "Aural orgasm". True enough then. Still is.
The 2nd CD in the BBC Sessions compilation was recorded at the compact 200 seater Paris Theatre in London's Lower Regent Street for "In Concert" on 1st April 1971. I was in the audience to hear John Peel introduce the band before they launched into "Immigrant Song".
Not broadcast nor on the CD 3 minutes and 20 seconds later was the audience reaction which could at best be described as a light ripple of applause.
Decidedly unhappy with this response, Robert Plant asked us what our problem was. In fact, he may well have put it more forcefully than that. The answer shouted back was that the music was so loud that we couldn't actually hear it as a song.
The engineers then toned it down and a jolly good time was had by all. But in terms of loudness, this first number was without doubt painful. Never heard anything as loud in my life and don't want to ever again.
Of course, once recorded and edited, the broadcast sounded perfect. Today it is all the more enjoyable because there I am, close witness to a cracking concert.
How good was it? At the time I often used the phrase "Aural orgasm". True enough then. Still is.
Tuesday 2 March 2010
Utter Rubbish
If I was an inventor, I know what would be number one on my "to do" list.
I'd invent a rubbish disposal and recycling system with various compartments. That would stop me dragging assorted boxes out to the front kerb on different days of the week.
At the moment, it's a black sack for landfill on one day of the week. A green box for paper, cans and plastic bottles on another. Once a fortnight I can have cardboard and garden waste collected if I'm prepared to pay £34.50 a year to the local council.
I'm not. I take those items to the tip along with soft plastic and waxed drink containers which can only be disposed of there along with pressurised cans, oil, fridges and goodness knows what else.
Talk about complicated. Mrs Crimper long ago abdicated all responsibility, assuring me it was all too much to remember. Imagine instead, a once a week collection unit with various compartments standing outside the back door. You could even add your own labels.
Come on designers of Britain! Even if the waste industry isn't waiting for your solution, I am.
I'd invent a rubbish disposal and recycling system with various compartments. That would stop me dragging assorted boxes out to the front kerb on different days of the week.
At the moment, it's a black sack for landfill on one day of the week. A green box for paper, cans and plastic bottles on another. Once a fortnight I can have cardboard and garden waste collected if I'm prepared to pay £34.50 a year to the local council.
I'm not. I take those items to the tip along with soft plastic and waxed drink containers which can only be disposed of there along with pressurised cans, oil, fridges and goodness knows what else.
Talk about complicated. Mrs Crimper long ago abdicated all responsibility, assuring me it was all too much to remember. Imagine instead, a once a week collection unit with various compartments standing outside the back door. You could even add your own labels.
Come on designers of Britain! Even if the waste industry isn't waiting for your solution, I am.
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