Early Alliteration

When I was around 13 or 14 I made the schoolboy error of referring to my Grandmother as Grannyguts. Worse, I did it in front of my father.

After asking me to repeat myself to be sure he hadn't misheard, he proceeded to berate me before giving me a smart tap or two to the top of my head.

Naturally I tried to explain myself, rather feebly as it happens, by saying that it "just sort of slipped out like that". That was true. It was in fact totally unrehearsed and I had absolutely no idea what made me say it.

Now I know better. Over the years, I have developed more than a fondness for alliteration. My rude reference to my Grandmother was simply the start.

Poor old Gran. I quite often gave her a hard time, bringing her to the edge of apoplexy. "Tea is more addictive than cannabis" I once told her, urging her to see if she could do without a cuppa for a few days.

It is entirely possible that I was a young pain in the arse.